What I Actually Like (for now)

Off we go once more, to the magical world of things that don't suck!

1) Game: Mass Effect 2 Dragon Age: Origins Star Wars:Knights of the Old Republic -- Really, I could have substituted that big struck-out mess for "any BioWare story-based RPG," because I am a sucker for them the way a Tootsie Roll is a sucker with a bit of candied poo in the middle. (Things I am also a massive sucker for: jazz waltzes, men who play musical instruments, and large dogs.) I get that they are all pretty much the same exact game, save a few plot changes and overall setting; you are a fully customizable (give or take) hero charged with saving your world from whatever evils lurk around the corner, and along the way you acquire party members who you will try to have relationships with and ultimately, the fun lies in the ultimate choice between good and evil (although, to be fair, I can't ever really bring myself to be evil on the first play-through, mostly because I feel like being that dickish right off the bat would make me miss all the good story). BioWare could make an RPG where you literally play as an undersea monkey faced with the choice between becoming the benevolent king of the oceans and seizing power so you can hurl all your enemies into the Marianas Trench, and I would probably buy it. But then again, I'm a bit of an idiot, when it comes right down to it. I like to think of myself as an actual gamer, even though, in all actuality, I'm probably not -- I'm genuinely awful at the two major genres of gamers, MMORPGs and First-Person-Shooters, and my distaste for failure means that about half of the world's "gamer" games are closed to me -- but BioWare games are that wonderful mix of mainstream and fun for me that makes me seem not as pathetic as I would be if, instead of Jade Empire, I was playing Cooking Mama or Harvest Moon or something.


2) TV: House -- I am also a huge candied sucker for this show. Always have been. Season six is about -- well, that's not particularly fair, because the show has been so spread out due to programming bullshit over at FOX, that it's really hard to differentiate the show into seasons. Something about House going crazy and living with Wilson. Anyway, it's fantastic: the whole bit; the cast is great (even when you don't count Hugh Laurie as House, which is one of the most inspired casting decisions in a long time); the story, while at times a bit, shall we say, unrealistic, stands up well (most of the time), and *spoiler* I'm genuinely thrilled that Cameron is gone. Enough said.




3) People who unknowingly boost my self-esteem -- Ever since I've been about six years old, I've lived my life under the impression that I am the most boring person alive. If you doubt this, I ask you to refer to my last post, where I talk about a science book that I read for fun and a televised debate for an election in another country, culminating in a 15-minute lecture on the state of American television in the early 21st century. (And yes, fellas, I am single.) However, I've recently discovered that one of the perks of my job is the recurrence of intermittent self-esteem boosts, usually in the form of someone entering my crosshairs who is infinitely duller than I am.

Since I work primarily in the pet department, the most frequently occurring dullards tend to be those heinous breed known as "cat people." These people either don't have children or have grown-up children, and have funnelled all their parental instinct into their cats. According to them, their cats either can't eat anything they haven't killed themselves ("Do you have any gluten- and fat-free kitty treats?"), have severe ADD ("Sparkles has about a thousand toys, and doesn't like a one!"), or want to be included in the next cycle of "America's Next Top Model" ("I know most cats don't like clothes...but Jeannie has such a fashion sense!"). Personally, I think that Dante left out a circle of hell in his Inferno -- Animal Torture -- designed for people who maim, kill, and dress animals in funny outfits, which will be a downer for all those little old ladies about ten years from now. Myself, I'll probably have a time-share about four other circles, but this one I actively try to avoid.

There are all sorts, of course - maybe I'll do a series. You know, like this one, but maybe, occasionally, on a schedule.